I am sure that after this difficulty i will have some sweet presents
I want my mamma to come here,visit me, be with me-that would be the best present ever,and why not brag about how many times i made it to the dean's list.
She'd love that....Hey i want the payback time. HArd work of 72 hrs/week and lonely days without my immediate family around and friends included,without having time to breath and yes eat, really really sucks.Seems like being cut from everybody...except aha, Him.
I can tell so very well that this is His test, and i can also hang on to the hope He has given me-presents also. Even though alone i don't really feel lonely.
I feel very special because i have my Daddy that guides me.
No fear at all , even though i live in a very bad gangsta neighbourwood where my so loved walks at night alone aren't quite accomplishable. But then ,no complaints really
i love being challenged, i am so loving the way He is teaching me, cutting me off from poeple that i love, that i long to talk to just because He wants me to depend completley to Him- he knows i don't surrender fast enough, he knows i don't easily give my heart from hurt and pride,he also knows that having more faith means surrendering my heart complelty to Him. I will have to surrender in order to succeed with Him. Strange how the Bible works, surrender for people is a bad thing-for God is everything. If i don't get cut to the heart, if i don't suffer, if i don't feel the desperate need to ask for help ,to surrender i won't become strong.Who asks -receives. If i already feel a 'god' i don't need to ask the real one for help. YEAH I AM HANGING ON actually i am doing more than that....i am getting strong and it feels so damn good.