Forumi Horizont (http://www.forumihorizont.com/index.php3)
- Gjuha Spanjolle (http://www.forumihorizont.com/forumdisplay.php3?forumid=178)
-- darke (http://www.forumihorizont.com/showthread.php3?threadid=6026)

Citim:

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Po citoj ato që tha lorie
hey darling ? how about this bloody picture of a vampire heart i took for you ?

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I want a tale too

hello girls. I am trying to write another virtual letter to both of you, hoping I will be able to express with words what I feel....

dissapointed.... hurted.......... lost.............. wondering.......... trying to find another axes...........

I thought my backbone was love. Lori i remember the email you wrote me some time ago. during the weekend I was thinking a lot about purity of thoughts and purity of deeds.... in albanian ciltersi.... and about many many things...

I only found out that the greatest the gravest FATALITY, MISFORTUNE, MISERY, DISASTER, CALAMITY, TRIBULATION, of humans is the lack of purity of thoughts, purity of motivation, purity of deeds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

if people would have pure intentions in everything they do, don't you think the world would be a better place? don't you think that if everybody would love this forum and would want it to be a beautiful place where everyone could find love and enjoy the time, this forum would be much more beautiful?

today I don't know I remembered one poetry of ismail kadare, keshtu foli laokonti---- the idea is that the badness and evil triumphs....... because we are very weak, narrowminded, full of prejudices and we can't see the real reason the real problem the real source of troubles........ those who see it, try to denonce it and seek justice, they are in turn accused of ego, of seeking power for themselves, of personal intentions out of their actions............. I was deeply hurt, not from persons who don't know me. I was hurt from those who i belived Know me by now..........

I wished I was naive, and not gifted with the intuition that enables me to see what is invisible for many others.............. the invisible spidernets that they have in their heads, in their actions and try to hide from others with words, but cannot from me.........

BEware o people from the horses of TROY THEY ARE TOO MANY, COME IN TOO MANY WAYS, appear in tooooo many shapes, but their aim is only one........ destruction........ killing of what you have beautiful inside, killing of your passion, killing of your visions, killing of your euphoria, killing of your ideas, killing of all your desires in making this place a much better place....... to accomplish their ego and desire for "pseudopower"

love you mi lulekuqe and mi kerputhka

Letter for Strength

Yesterday ,i read your letter.
I wanted to reply ,to give a sounding advice or something that i called wise at the moment but i knew it wasn't because i was feeling wavered myself.I knew exactly what you were writing and exactly what to reply to you but i didn't. I had this internal struggle ,a fight that will never end because we(poeple) are meant to fight.
I just read it today again.
You know, the struggle goes on ,maybe sublte but it is always there.And you know? There is just a fine line between loosing and winning. There is just an inch between purity and pollution of the soul. That inch is just like J's philosophy ( a coworker).One morning he handed me this whole monologue in a piece of paper of "fighting for an inch" It is just that inch that separates us ,makes us choose different paths in life ,makes us believe that badness and evil triumphs .Just that single inch.
We are to choose wether to pass that inch and go from the other side of the lane ,or stay on the fast paced lane of destrucion. THERE'S NO TWILIGHT ZONE. You choose to be pure at heart ,or you choose to be polluted. And if you choose the first one there's always a chance to win,always an escape that has the foundation on faith on God.
If the whole world has horses of troy ,than there would be for me a greater reason to choose the hardest purest way. If the whole world wants to kill your soul than better fight the evil with weapons that only God can give you: love, purity, gentleness, courage, strong faith, self-control, humbleness ect. And by these fruits( that's what the Bible calls them) you can not only defeat any enemy but change this forum, love and honor the friendships you have, give light to the world around you,be grateful, be happy and do not care if peopel try to kill your soul because they can't reach the height .
Here's a poetry i wrote and recited in an activity for women. It was emotional,made a couple of women cry, but my passion in it was very clear in the way i thought .
Women of Vision

Hold me,my Lord
i cried late at night
Hold me in your arms
bring me in the light

I long for your love
for your caring heart
my pains take away
be my rock-i cried

You know what he did
when he heard me crying?
He soothed my toubled soul
and i felt like flying

His heart is so gracious
so righteous and true
sisters he will lift you up
because he loves you .

when you feel hopeless
and don't see the light
pray to our Lord
and he will reply

with an open heart
he will reach out for your soul
he wil caress you
and you wil feel whole

girls,women,sisters,
have strong faith in our Lord
be patient and enduring
take courage in his word

be women of passion,
of beauty ,of strength
women grasping life
women of great faith

be women of courage
of love ,of compassion
great leaders and heart changers
women with a vision

because you already
have what you need
our Father's love pouring
a great gift indeed

Citim:

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Po citoj ato që tha lorie
you can not only defeat any enemy but change this forum, love and honor the friendships you have, give light to the world around you,be grateful, be happy and do not care if peopel try to kill your soul because they can't reach the height .

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Letters unwritten

Where are you?
I don't see any of you, and i tell you i am not blind. I have 4 pair of eyes just to see you,and a some- pound- brain to think of you, but i can't. Are you vanishing? Are you tired?
Life can be a struggle at times, but i read you , i search for you and you are still distant.
Here's my hand ,i stretch it to you.
Why do you leave this grey baackground and letters?
Why are u indiferent?
I thought your fire was a burning passion and a neverquitter ,i thought you were a soldier and a fighter. Where is your glowing light?
I see the darkness in you.
Why wouldn't you resonate, be bright and glorious?
Where are you DREAMERS?
How many dreams have you accomplished lately?
Are you moving people with your dreams? Are you moved by yours?
Are you moving spiritually or are you still stuck in the same vicious circle of optimism-depression/high state-sad state again and again without solution--I can reach the sky and then even though you are the same person you see yourself in a totally different disgraceful light.
Where is the measurement for everything?
And can dreams be measured?
Where is the soul -seraching journey if you don't have the tools?
Where is the zeal of life in you ?
Do you know?
Have you found it?
What makes it trigger?
Your selfish dreams?
Your humanity?
Your passionate heart?
Your God?
or your perverseness?
What is it that you are looking for?
Happiness? In what?
In f**king with no emotion?
In making circular trips of soul ?
In ilusion of a perfect mate,perfect car, perfect family, perfect friendship?
Is that what you are dreaming of?
Perfectionism? Do you think there is one?
ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?
Do you have one anyways?
Don't you see the times we live in? Are you blind?
Don't you sense a terrible war of spirits happening each and every day?
Don't you feel a war inside you when you find the angel in you and the demon in you?
HAve you asked yourself what triggers that war inside you?
HAve you asked yourself why you find yourself in deep sorrowful waters and at times in high euphoric moods?
It is not bipolar disorder believe me.Psychologist can find millions of names for our spiritual states but what is happening inside you is the exhausting fact that God and Satan are fighting over you. Each wants to claim you, to make you His.
What dreams do you have now?
Don't you think you have to pray that a dream like this: 'I want to be in your Kingdom God ,not in the Demon's one ' can get accomplished.
Don't you fear for your soul?
huh?
No?
Serious?
unbelievable!!!
Whatever you choose, it will be judged in the pay-back time.
I pray for you.

Re: Letters unwritten- how many have I Written?

Citim:

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Po citoj ato që tha lorie
Where are you?
I don't see any of you, and i tell you i am not blind. I have 4 pair of eyes just to see you,and a some- pound- brain to think of you, but i can't. Are you vanishing? Are you tired? Difficult Answer. i am here but I am tired. I am tired of struggles I have no energy to struggle. I gave up without fighting
Life can be a struggle at times, but i read you , i search for you and you are still distant.
Here's my hand ,i stretch it to you.
Why do you leave this grey baackground and letters?
Why are u indiferent? It's not that I am indifferent. I am simply silent. and I haven't left this grey background or letters. I simply have no inspiration what to write about. there is a period of ceasefire inside me. and during it I can't write because what inspires me is the fire or the pain the happiness or the tears
I thought your fire was a burning passion and a neverquitter ,i thought you were a soldier and a fighter. Where is your glowing light?
I see the darkness in you.
Why wouldn't you resonate, be bright and glorious?
Where are you DREAMERS?
How many dreams have you accomplished lately? something yes. more no. I have still to find out what should i dream for. but many dreams disspair as the illusions. just have to find some other illusions to fight for....
Are you moving people with your dreams? Are you moved by yours?
Are you moving spiritually or are you still stuck in the same vicious circle of optimism-depression/high state-sad state again and again without solution--I can reach the sky and then even though you are the same person you see yourself in a totally different disgraceful light.
Where is the measurement for everything?
And can dreams be measured?
Where is the soul -seraching journey if you don't have the tools?
Where is the zeal of life in you ?
Do you know?
Have you found it?
What makes it trigger?
Your selfish dreams?
Your humanity?
Your passionate heart?
Your God?
or your perverseness?
What is it that you are looking for?
Happiness? In what?
In f**king with no emotion?
In making circular trips of soul ?
In ilusion of a perfect mate,perfect car, perfect family, perfect friendship?
Is that what you are dreaming of?
Perfectionism? Do you think there is one?
ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?
Do you have one anyways?
Don't you see the times we live in? Are you blind?
Don't you sense a terrible war of spirits happening each and every day?
Don't you feel a war inside you when you find the angel in you and the demon in you?
HAve you asked yourself what triggers that war inside you?
HAve you asked yourself why you find yourself in deep sorrowful waters and at times in high euphoric moods?
It is not bipolar disorder believe me.Psychologist can find millions of names for our spiritual states but what is happening inside you is the exhausting fact that God and Satan are fighting over you. Each wants to claim you, to make you His.
What dreams do you have now? i want peace in my soul and in my mind. no struggles anymore.
Don't you think you have to pray that a dream like this: 'I want to be in your Kingdom God ,not in the Demon's one ' can get accomplished.
Don't you fear for your soul?
huh?
No?
Serious?
unbelievable!!!
Whatever you choose, it will be judged in the pay-back time. I have made my agreement with God and he loves me for what I am. there is something I try to keep pure. What belongs to him in a human - the heart. thats my only law I try to follow always.. to have a pure heart. all the rest is not important. a pure heart makes things better
I pray for you. - I pray for you too

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Re: Letters unwritten

Well, let's take your letter as a lorie's test Jona jonaaaaaaaa you did leave some questions without answers, come on, fill up the test completely:p

Citim:

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Po citoj ato që tha lorie
Where are you? Phisically, I'm at home, in my room. Psichically, I'm fluctuating between a fucked reality who steal my time and my most high dream
I don't see any of you, and i tell you i am not blind. I have 4 pair of eyes just to see you,and a some- pound- brain to think of you, but i can't. Are you vanishing? I'm always in this state, "evaporation", it makes me feel free but even when you don't see it doesn't mean that i'm not seeing you I'm gonna be always, don't be scared to lose me. Ties with me are forever even if we are not in touch thousand years Are you tired? No, never. But nobody can be in a high humour constantly. It's needed sometimes times of silence, of reflexion, it's like to take a snap after lunch. It's not sleeping as the night sleeping, but it conforts you very very much. it's like the time of praying. it's like the bath time. Intimate. clarifying.
Life can be a struggle at times, but i read you , i search for you and you are still distant.
Here's my hand ,i stretch it to you.
Why do you leave this grey baackground and letters? metamorphosis
Why are u indiferent? Never. Indiferent person is a DEAD. If there is something I hate is this, indiference
I thought your fire was a burning passion and a neverquitter ,i thought you were a soldier and a fighter. Where is your glowing light? who is born soldier will die soldier:p
I see the darkness in you. I'm darke:p darkness is my medium
Why wouldn't you resonate, be bright and glorious? ohhh wait for i can get my degree and you will see me bright and glorious :p
Where are you DREAMERS? I'm at homeeee!!!!!
How many dreams have you accomplished lately? litle by litle. Big dreams need time
Are you moving people with your dreams? where could i move? i can escape from Earth, so you can find me wherever i move:p Are you moved by yours?
Are you moving spiritually or are you still stuck in the same vicious circle of optimism-depression/high state-sad state again and again without solution--I can reach the sky and then even though you are the same person you see yourself in a totally different disgraceful light. girlllll, this is dramatic. Must be spring time...
Where is the measurement for everything? in the virtue?
And can dreams be measured? i don't think so
Where is the soul -seraching journey if you don't have the tools? who needs tools? soul is always searching
Where is the zeal of life in you ? in the hope to reach my dreams
Do you know? Yes, since i was born
Have you found it? I think yes, I found it and now i'm in the way to reach it
What makes it trigger? the bomb that makes you move and wake up and hurry you up to reach a dream is LOVE
Your selfish dreams? why is bad to have selfich dreams? is bad to look for my own happiness?
Your humanity? hmmm yes?
Your passionate heart? yes
Your God? my faith in Him, in him, in me, in my family, in life
or your perverseness? yes, totally
What is it that you are looking for? job:p
Happiness? In what? in the sharing of my life
In f**king with no emotion? in fucking with lot of love
In making circular trips of soul ? no way
In ilusion of a perfect mate,perfect car, perfect family, perfect friendship? i got the coclusion, that when you get something with your effort, with a lot of love for what you do, it becomes perfect. So yes, i found my perfect mate, perfect family, perfect friends
Is that what you are dreaming of? not exactly:p but they are part of my dream
Perfectionism? Do you think there is one? yes, i tell you i have felt it.
ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? Yes
Do you have one anyways? I have two:p
Don't you see the times we live in? Are you blind? girl, you are agressive here... what happens to you?
Don't you sense a terrible war of spirits happening each and every day?
Don't you feel a war inside you when you find the angel in you and the demon in you?
HAve you asked yourself what triggers that war inside you?
HAve you asked yourself why you find yourself in deep sorrowful waters and at times in high euphoric moods? yes
It is not bipolar disorder believe me.Psychologist can find millions of names for our spiritual states but what is happening inside you is the exhausting fact that God and Satan are fighting over you. Each wants to claim you, to make you His. This is what i heard in "Constantine" movie
What dreams do you have now? they are secret:p
Don't you think you have to pray that a dream like this: 'I want to be in your Kingdom God ,not in the Demon's one ' can get accomplished.
Don't you fear for your soul? why should I fear? No fears, my lori.
huh?
No? No
Serious? Yes
unbelievable!!! yes, maybe, but this is something that belong to the field of the believing, and here, everything is a matter of faith and believe.
Whatever you choose, it will be judged in the pay-back time.
I pray for you.

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WOW

It was started as a letter for you girls but then i got angry that i can't change some things so it turned out a monologue with my angry self....i couldn't keep myself from exploding.

I apologize if you found some lines in it offensive.
It was not meant to be that way.


Letters of spiritual truths.
(Sweet Darke ,Do NOT MAKE FUN OF WHAT I WRITE,THEY ARE TRUE,AND THEY ARE MY CONVICTIONS ,DO NOT MAKE FUN OF MY GOD) You cannot be at the same time a believer of God and a persuer of pereversness. It is not logical.THE BIBLE TELLS YOU THAT. I AM NOT WRITING POETRY,ART AND IMMAGINATIVE PIECES ,I AM WRITING MY LIFE HERE.I AM POURING WHAT I HAVE ALREADY FELT SINCE I GOT BAPTIZED.

Bottom line is : If you do not believe that Jesus is Lord ,and get baptized you are NOT saved spiritualy.

Lesson # 1 of becoming a true follower of God, is to come out of darkness,and that is made through BAPTISM.
Get baptized when YOU ARE FULLY CONSCIOUS,WITH YOUR OWN CHOICE AND FREE WILL, AND UNDERSTAND THAT JESUS IS LORD AND YOU REPENT FOR YOUR SINS AND YOU HAVE READ AND BELIEVED THE BIBLE,THE TRUE WORD)
People sometimes baptize infants(and the cognitive thinking of infants is not that developed as to understand what baptism is for,they don't have free will to choose and capacity to determine what they are doing) .-we have returned baptism in a meaningless tradition when true BAptism is MAKING A DECISIVE CHOICE TO ENTER IN GOD'S FAMILY,TELLING OUT LOUD BEFORE EVERYBODY even to THE DEVIL, THAT YOU STEP IN THE KINGDOM OF GOD.
Jesus says:I AM THE TRUE VINE, NOBODY COMES TO MY FATHER BUT THROUGHT ME.
IT is not a joke, it's reality, a shocking ,controversial ,radical and challenging TRUTH about WHO GOD IS.
AFTER THE BAPTISM ,YOU RECEIVE GRADUALLY THE HOLLY SPIRIT<,as YOU BECOME MORE AND MORE LIKE CHRIST< ROOTED AND ESTABLISHED IN LOVE<JUSTICE<SELF_CONTROL<HUMBLENESS<SACRIFICE FOR OTHERS<HELP OTHERS< PURITY< SELFLESSNESS(not being selfish) ,HONOR< DIGNITY< AND LIVE THE LIFE OUT OF HIS LOVE AND IN HIS WORD>

HOW DO I KNOW THIS IS TRUE?
BY FAITH.
I checked the oxford dictioanry for the word FAITH.It explains in plain words such as trust ,belief and religious stuff.
But the word FAITh is wider than that:IT IS BELIEVING SOMETHING THAT YOU HAVEN'T SEEN OR ARE NOT A TESTIMONER OF>

HOW DO I KNOW THIS IS TRUE?
HOW DO YOU KNOW THERE IS AN ISLAND CALLED MADAGASCAR IF YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN THERE ?
YOU HAVE A MAP ? IS THAT RIGHT?
HOW DO YOU KNOW THE MAP IS TRUE?
HAVE you checked it?
HAve you interviewed the map maker?
Was he competent in his job?
How do you know he won't lie?

You go by FAith ?
SEE?

Letter for my white lori

Oh Lori, It’s me who has to apologize. I never ever wanted to have fun of you at all and much less of your believings, I know how important is for you. It’s true that I wrote the last message in a funny mood but never ever to get you ofended at all. Never!. If I am completely sure of something is that I try to respect everyone, so imagine for my friends. Forgive me if you felt ofended by my answers, please.

I have to point out something: there is a question you did --> or your perverseness? yes, totally. Here I understood persevereness, so sorry. But also I can be sometimes perverseness too :p but not at the point to hurt somebody, just when joking.

Ok, now let's go to the core. I admire the passion you pour in every word when you talk about christianism. But there is somethings that I don’t agree with you. And don’t get mad please.

First thing: Don’t tell me that you are not writing poetry, art nor imaginative pieces, because you are writing your life. I think your way to live is full of poetry art and imagination, so even if you write about your life I’m sure it will be full of poetry, art and imagination. At least I want to believe this and I’m sure it’s like this because I think I know you a little. It's your artistic spirit what make you to talk in that way

Second thing: This point is about Baptism. You say that people sometimes are baptized when they are infants. I tell you this is not sometimes. This is ALWAYS!. It’s true I’m talking about Spain, here christian religion has very deep roots. Maybe it’s "sometimes" in America.Here childrens are baptized when they are born, one or two weeks after being born more or less. And it’s true that they are not concious about what they are choosing, the Jesus’ path, but that’s why your parents choose for you a Godfather and a Godmother. Godfather and Godmother promise in the Baptism celebration that they will guide to the child by the Jesus knowledge. And your parents and Godparents do this promise in front of God. This is the "first" sacrament.

I think what you are talking about is the sacrament of Confirmation. It’s made when you are adolescent, supposely when you are able to choose you really want to be christian. And in this celebration you confirm the promise that your parents and Godparents made for you the day of your Baptism. So in the same way according to the Bible everybody is born with the “original sin”, everybody is graceful to be baptized because all we are God’s sons. I remember when my catequist said once to us that Baptism was free and because God love us a lot we were baptized when children. But the main reason why we are baptized when childrens is that our parents are christians. And when they got married, they promised in front of God to do it. They have to promise they will care about the growing of their childrens in the faith of Jesuschrist. So it means you have to baptized your childrens because the learning start since you are born. I think another reason why the tradition was to be baptized since you are born is because like you said, you need to be baptized to be saved, and in the case of the children die – this one was very common before-, they had to be baptized to be saved, and can be burried in the cementery. If you are not baptized and you die, the priest don't allow you be burried in the cementery! :O This was a shame in old times. And I wonder now if i wouldn't be baptized and I die, where in the world i would be burried?????? :O what my family would do with my body???? :O

I know you are thinking that there is something above all this, FAITH, and you are right. I’m just telling you that everything has a logical reason in traditions. I just want you to reason the things you learn in church.

Third thing: I loved your last paragraph about faith. And I agree with you totally in it. Faith. Faith can save everybody but not only to go to Heaven, but here on Earth. Actually faith is what saves us everyday, what makes us to go on everyday in spite of our sadness and bad times.
I have faith on my family that they will be next to me when I need them, I have faith in the boy I love that he will love me and share his life with me, I have faith in our happiness together, I have faith on you, on jona, on all my friends, that i will find you always, in real, in your words or in your remainds, I have faith on people that they are good in the deep inside, I have faith on God, because I learnt to love Him, because I can feel something magic in the life, that makes me to say wowwwwwwwwwwwwww but I don’t have fear for my soul. I just think God wanted I was born like I am, He knows everything, even what there is out of our understandness, why should I have any fear? All my values are learned from my parents and religion SINCE I WAS BORN. Religion is good for people. Make people stronger in weakness. I don’t have fun of your God, because your God is my God. Because God is God. As the muslims says, only one God. But see the command of Jesus: love the others as yourself. Difficult task not impossible though. Do you remember what He told to the “church” of His time? Do you remember when Jesus came into the temple? I'm sure you know it by heart. And I bet you He would do the same in nowdays. Church was founded to help and teach people, but church is people too, so it's not perfect. Just be concious what makes it not to be perfect and "eat" only what you consider is good.

And finally........... kisses for my passionate white lori

Your perverse vampire darke darkorum



PS: I always had a doubt. Because we learnt that at the beginning there were no nothing, NOTHING. God created everything. God was alone? Why He created the Devil? God knows everything! He knew he was creating the devil? Why? What is the true reason?
I found a kind of answer some time ago. See, in the Bible. But in the Bible there is hidden explanations, metaphors, gires… God prohibited Adam and Eve to eat from the apple tree. I learned that that apple tree, was the tree of Knowledge. So it’s like if God would have said: you people, if you remain ignorant you will be in paradise forever, if you choose to know you will know the pain, the devil, the death,…
I was born curious, I was born wanting to choose to know everything.

I have thought lot of times that if devil was created by God too, it can’t be so bad :p:p:p:p:p DON’T GET MAD!!!!!!!!!!! I’m just kidding