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-- To Women Who Need Some Laugh And To Men Who Have A Sense Of Humor!;) (http://www.forumihorizont.com/showthread.php3?threadid=10545)

To Women Who Need Some Laugh And To Men Who Have A Sense Of Humor!

WAYS TO TURN MEN DOWN

HE: Can I buy you a drink?
SHE: Actually I'd rather have the money.

HE: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.

HE: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE: Must've been once. I never m ake the same mistake twice.

HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must've been given your share.

HE: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.

HE: Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs.

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
SHE: Okay, get out.

HE: I think I could make you very happy.
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?

HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why? Don't you already have one?

HE: Shall we go see a movie?
SHE: I've already seen it.

HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.

HE: Haven't I seen you some place before?
SHE: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.

HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

HE: So, what do you do for a living?
SHE: I'm a female impersonator.


HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE: Do not enter.


HE: Your body is like a temple.
SHE: Sorry, there are no services today .

HE: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
SHE: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing

HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your wildest dreams .

Extremely RUDE!


But very smart and funny......

Isra,

What you are gonna answer to it:

He: Police,Police...this woman stole my heart!

Citim:

---

Po citoj ato që tha peshtimi
Extremely RUDE!




He: Police,Police...this woman stole my heart!

---

Another one:

He:You are the prettiest pussy cat I have ever seen!

Citim:

---

Po citoj ato që tha peshtimi
Another one:

He:You are the prettiest pussy cat I have ever seen!

---

The opposite

She: The weather this weekend will be great. Do you have any plans?
He: Yes, I'll sleep all day long, watch some TV and do some work to my basement.

She: Is it yours, this beautifull house?
He: No, do you want to take care the house-cleaning.

She: How much cost that nice watch?
He: Are you thinking how much money you'll get after returning in the store.

..any example......:p

He: " Will you marry me?"
She: "No, but I'll always admire your good taste."

He said... I don't know why you wear a bra, you've got nothing to put in it.
She said... You wear briefs, don't you?

He said - Two inches more and I would be king.
She said - Two inches less, and you'd be queen.

He said- What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
She said- A rumor

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:


You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors & the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

so, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:


Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:


Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.


Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth f floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.