Forumi Horizont (http://www.forumihorizont.com/index.php3)
- *Humor* (http://www.forumihorizont.com/forumdisplay.php3?forumid=326)
-- Scottish Jokes (http://www.forumihorizont.com/showthread.php3?threadid=10688)

Scottish Jokes

Why are they putting Englishmen at the bottom of the ocean?
They found out that deep down, they’re really not so bad.

-There are two things a Scot likes naked!
One of them is malt whisky!

- How did the Grand Canyon come about?
A Scotman lost a sixpence.

Drunk

I don't have a drinking problem.
I drink
I get drunk
I fall down
No problem

Drunk

"Surely you're not going to drive that car," said the policeman, advancing on the motorist who had just staggered out of a bar.
"Well, offisher, do you think I'm in any condi_tion to walk?"

Driving test

A police officer pulls over a Scottish man who's been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube."
The man says, "Sorry, officer, I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that, I'll have a really bad asthma attack."
"Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample."
"I can't do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I'll bleed to death."
"Well, then, we need a urine sample."
"I'm sorry, officer, I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that, I'll get really low blood sugar."
"All right, then I need you to come out here and walk this white line."
"I can't do that, officer."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm drunk."

Nice ones mate. Cheers...

I know u like them cous u live in britan , Ta ta

Wrong mate. Tirana. Neva been 2 UK.

Bingo !

ha ha ... lol