My dear wife;
Last year, I asked you to have sex 365 times,
I succeeded 36 times,
Here is the list of the reasons why you didn't want to have sex......
54 times because the sheets were clean
17 times because it was too late
49 times because you were too tired
20 times because it was too hot
15 times you were pretending to be asleep
22 times you had headaches
17 times you were worried about waking up our baby
16 times you said that you had a sore back
12 times not convenient
19 times you said that you had to get up early the next day
9 times you said that you were not in the mood
7 times you said you had a sun burn
6 times because you wanted to watch a late TV show
5 times you didn't want to ruin your new hair style
3 times you were worried that the neighbor might hear
9 times you were worried that your mother might hear
For the 36 times I got, it wasn't very satisfying
6 times you just lay there, didn't even move
8 times you tried to remind me that there was a crack on the ceiling
4 times you asked me to hurry up
7 times I had to wake you up to tell you that I was done
And once I thought I had hurt you, because suddenly you moved.
