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-- How Do You Know If It's Love? (http://www.forumihorizont.com/showthread.php3?threadid=7372)
Postuar nga Isra datë 02 Shkurt 2005 - 17:37:
How Do You Know If It's Love?
How do you know it's love? How do you know if it will last forever? You can take all kinds of tests that are supposed to divine whether or not what you are feeling is true love.
On Valentine's Day, our minds turn not only to chocolate and flowers, but if you happen to be in a relationship and haven't cemented it yet, one of the biggest questions is always, how do we know if we should get married? How do we know if this is real love?
Or is it just the romance; are we in love with the idea of being in love? Is it chemistry? Is it the need to be needed? Is he a father substitute? Is she a mother substitute? Do I just want to get away from home? Do I have a need to feel important and loved by (perhaps) having a baby that will be cute and cuddly? These types of questions can delude us into thinking that we have found the person we should marry.
First of all, I am not one of those who believe that there is only one "one and only." I think that whole idea is ludicrous and farfetched. It requires a belief in destiny- that you are fated to marry one certain person and that if you don't happen to take the right path to find that one, tough luck. I think that there are a number of people we could match up with and with whom we would have a good, great, even wonderful marriage and life. It often has more to do with timing: we meet people that we feel deeply about, but for whatever reason, the timing is not right: we don't live in the same area, he's about to go off to college, or she's just been offered a job on the west coast.
Secondly, I'm not much impressed when someone gives as a reason for ending a marriage, "I fell out of love." That is no excuse for ending a marriage. True, you want to be married to someone who loves you, but if you have truly loved someone, it is not something you can fall out of unless there are extreme extenuating circumstances. Yes, I think I would stop loving someone who was betraying me, stepping out, being abusive, or who has changed dramatically and turns out not to be the person you thought. But that is not "falling out of love."
It seems that people use that reason when there doesn't seem to be any other good reason. Perhaps the romantic feelings of being starry eyed, swept off ones feet, unable to breathe, or having heart palpitations have stopped. Therefore, the key thing to think about in trying to figure out "Is this true love?" is, "Is there something more there than just feelings?" Are there affirmations from other people that you seem right for each other? (This one can be tricky: your parents may be disappointed in your choice and some of your friends, but usually there is someone who affirms you or "sees what you see in him or her," if it is meant to be.) If everyone is telling you "no way," you would be wise to take a very good long, hard look at the relationship so that you don't end up being just another divorce statistic.
Many times, when couples divorce, they say, "We just grew apart." That can happen to any couple, and it is something you have to work at. To me it is not a good excuse for separating or divorcing because that might happen in the next marriage too. Do you keep breaking up and breaking hearts? Better to stick it out and work at it. Therefore, what you should look for in a potential marriage partner, if you are trying to figure out if you are truly in love, is, "Does he or she feel it is important to stick together, no matter what? Is he or she committed to sticking together, growing together, doing whatever it takes to grow in love?"
People talk about the fact that it is important to have common interests, values and beliefs. Yes, these things are important and make a marriage go more smoothly. But perhaps even more important is a basic understanding that we can disagree and still love each other; we can believe in different things and still love each other. We can each do different things and come back together to be a more interesting pair for having had different interests. A red flag might be if you constantly disagree, argue or fight, or if you can never agree on friends, activities or interests.
Anyone reading this who is trying to use it to figure out "yes" or "no" about a given relationship, will inevitably twist his or her answers to come out the way they want them to come out. That is the danger of just going by feelings. "In love" feelings will not last forever, but truly loving each other is
1) having those wonderful feelings;
2) knowing down deep that the person in question is a person you admire and respect and is a decent human being; and finally,
3) feeling and being connected spiritually. Ideally, that means having similar religious beliefs.
Perhaps you have religious differences, but being connected on a spiritual level is the third leg that will help you get through the inevitable tough times in any marriage....
Postuar nga darke datë 02 Shkurt 2005 - 23:18:
Re: How Do You Know If It's Love?
Citim:
Po citoj ato që tha isra
How do you know it's love? How do you know if it will last forever?
how do we know if we should get married? How do we know if this is real love?
Or is it just the romance?; are we in love with the idea of being in love? Is it chemistry? Is it the need to be needed? Is he a father substitute? Is she a mother substitute? Do I just want to get away from home? Do I have a need to feel important and loved by (perhaps) having a baby that will be cute and cuddly?
"Is this true love?" is, "Is there something more there than just feelings?" Are there affirmations from other people that you seem right for each other?
"Does he or she feel it is important to stick together, no matter what? Is he or she committed to sticking together, growing together, doing whatever it takes to grow in love?"
Pershendetje isra,
have you counted how many questions you made trying to figure out "love"? I yes did it :p You made 17 questions. Have you counted how many questions people have made in this forum trying the same discovering? Well , i haven't counted all of them but I can assure there are tons of questions about love. How many times have you made yourself your question "how do I know this is Love"? How many times have you asked yourself if he/she loves you? if you love him/her? what is this that I'm feeling? and why? WHY?
I say I love you because of who you are as a person. I love you because you are beautiful and you take my breath away. I love you because you inspire me to be a better person. I love you because you make me dream and have hope. But when all is said and done...I love you because I just do and I don't know why.
Postuar nga darke datë 09 Shkurt 2005 - 03:48:
Re: How Do You Know If It's Love?
love can warm without fire; feed without meat; clothe without garments; shelter without roof; it can make a paradise withing which will dispose of a paradise without...
By Henry David Thoreau
Postuar nga Klodel datë 09 Shkurt 2005 - 18:16:
only? 
Postuar nga rrushi datë 10 Shkurt 2005 - 06:04:
Citim:
Po citoj ato që tha darke
I love you because I just do and I don't know why.
I'll never know why, it's pointless to even wonder. The moment I start to wonder why I use my head and I forget to just breathe and let myself feel what I feel. And I feel, boy do I feel...
Postuar nga lejda datë 11 Tetor 2005 - 13:36:
who knows?
It is better say what we personally think of love and how we feel it. Somebody says love is everything but I dont agree. Love like a new life in a world made of two (strangely this world wanders around in the real one where we live) : gives us the gift of dreaming and planning the future forgeting our ego.
To be in love is like becoming fool and blind but you just dont care: you're ; proud of it .
Sounds stupid no but that' s love
No one in love is stupid, we're simply alive...
Postuar nga lejda datë 14 Tetor 2005 - 12:05:
For girls only
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back
when you hang up on him,(?)
who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,
who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats,
who holds your hand in front of his friends,
Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.
Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her."
Postuar nga Isra datë 14 Tetor 2005 - 12:07:
pretty good this one....
Postuar nga iliriusa datë 13 Nëntor 2005 - 03:08:
Re: who knows?
Citim:
Po citoj ato që tha lejda
It is better say what we personally think of love and how we feel it. Somebody says love is everything but I dont agree. Love like a new life in a world made of two (strangely this world wanders around in the real one where we live) : gives us the gift of dreaming and planning the future forgeting our ego.
To be in love is like becoming fool and blind but you just dont care: you're ; proud of it .
Sounds stupid no but that' s love
No one in love is stupid, we're simply alive...
We can wait.
But that does not mean that he will show up! 
Postuar nga lejda datë 14 Nëntor 2005 - 12:28:
Once I heard something funny:
Love is just like shopping, in a brand new shop if you happen to be lucky, but you can shop at the free market too.
You search for worthy things and you have to search for good, without expecting the cloth of your dreams because nothing like that exists.
I think waiting is worthless too.