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-- valentine jokes (http://www.forumihorizont.com/showthread.php3?threadid=7386)

valentine jokes

hey, in here u can put anything about valentine jokes and all that crap u would use to sumone u hate, for valentine's day!

here is an example:

of all the beautiful sights, i only see you
that's cuz your fat ass is blocking my view!!

the first line is sweet and the other, mean!

you can also put anything else, just no name calling and waheva that is not proper, im just sick of that!

um...nobody's answering...so how do u shut this crap down?

don't u hear your own echo? echo? echo? echo? echo? echo?...

Citim:

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Po citoj ato që tha vampirechick
um...nobody's answering...so how do u shut this crap down?

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Citim:

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Po citoj ato që tha vampirechick
um...nobody's answering...so how do u shut this crap down?

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Citim:

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Po citoj ato që tha vampirechick
um...nobody's answering...so how do u shut this crap down?

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Citim:

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Po citoj ato që tha vampirechick
um...nobody's answering...so how do u shut this crap down?

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Citim:

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Po citoj ato që tha vampirechick
um...nobody's answering...so how do u shut this crap down?

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Citim:

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Po citoj ato që tha vampirechick
um...nobody's answering...so how do u shut this crap down?

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Citim:

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Po citoj ato që tha vampirechick
um...nobody's answering...so how do u shut this crap down?

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Citim:

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Po citoj ato që tha vampirechick
um...nobody's answering...so how do u shut this crap down?

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Citim:

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Po citoj ato që tha vampirechick
um...nobody's answering...so how do u shut this crap down?

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Citim:

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Po citoj ato që tha vampirechick
um...nobody's answering...so how do u shut this crap down?

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I never thought of you as a echo of someone else...muhahahahahaha

Citim:

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Po citoj ato që tha Aljohin
I never thought of you as a echo of someone else...muhahahahahaha

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Are you hypnotized...or you are a zombie?

Citim:

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Po citoj ato që tha Aljohin
Are you hypnotized...or you are a zombie?

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Rules by which females are governed :-)

1.The FEMALE always makes the rules.


2.The RULES are subject to change at any time without prior notification...by the FEMALE.


3.No MALE can possibly know all the RULES.


4.If the FEMALE suspects the MALE knows all the RULES, she must immediately change some or all of them.


5.The FEMALE is never wrong.


6.If the FEMALE is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the MALE did or said wrong.


7.The MALE must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstandings.


8.The FEMALE may change her mind at any time.


9.The MALE must never change his mind without the express written consent of the FEMALE.


10.The FEMALE has every right to be angry or upset at any time.


11.The MALE must remain calm at all times, unless the FEMALE wants him to be angry or upset.


12.The FEMALE must, under no circumstances, let the MALE know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.


13.The Male is expected to "mind read" at all times.


14.The MALE who doesn't abide by THE RULES; can't take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp!


15.Any attempt to document THE RULES could result in bodily harm.


16.The FEMALE is ready when SHE is ready.


17The MALE must be ready at ALL times.

Be My Valentine
A man walks into a post office one day and sees a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.
His curiosity gets the better of him; he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
"But why?" asks the man.
"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.

Student of Psychology
A very shy guy goes into a pub on Valentine's Day night and sees a beautiful young woman sitting alone at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I brought you a drink?" She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!"
Everyone in the pub started staring at them. Naturally, the guy was terribly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table totally red faced.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm really sorry if I embarrassed you just then. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."
At this the guy responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean? $300?"
What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?
Hog and kisses!
What did one light bulb say to the other?
"I love you a whole watt!"

Bin Laden's Valentine
A little boy comes home from first grade and tells his father that he learned about the history of Valentine's Day. "As Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," he asks, "will God get angry at me for giving someone a valentine?"
The father thinks for a moment and then says, "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?"
"Osama Bin Laden," the boy says.
"Why Osama ," his father asks in disbelief.
"Well," David says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish boy could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd jump with joy. And then he'd go all over and tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore."
Father's heart swells and he looks at his son with newfound pride and joy.
"David, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard."
"I know," David says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines shoot him."

He said... I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said... You wear briefs, don't you?

Priest... I don't think you will ever find another man like your late husband.
She said... Who's gonna look?