Regjistruar: 31/08/2006
Vendbanimi: usa
Mesazhe: 1525

An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years.

Upon her return, her father cussed her. "Where have ye been all this
time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye
call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum thru?

The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff....dad....I became a
prostitute...."

"Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner!
You're a disgrace to this family."

"OK, dad-- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur
coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a $5 million savings
certificate. For me little brother, this gold Rolex and for ye daddy,
the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked
outside plus a membership to the country club....(takes a breath)....and
an invitation for ye all to spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht
in the Riviera and... ."


"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says dad.

Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff....a prostitute dad!
Sniff, sniff."

"Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a
Protestant'. Come here and give yer old man a hug!

__________________
Bukë, kripë e zemër të mirë.

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Regjistruar: 11/02/2005
Vendbanimi: Kabul- a great city , in which to live ,play and w
Mesazhe: 2511

Lady - Is this my train ?
Station Master - No, It belongs to the railway company!
lady - Don't try to be funny , I mean if i can take this train to New Delhi ?
Station Master- No madam , I'm afraid it's too heavy !

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Regjistruar: 11/02/2005
Vendbanimi: Kabul- a great city , in which to live ,play and w
Mesazhe: 2511

Boss- Why aren't you working ?!
Employee- I didn't see you coming !

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Regjistruar: 29/12/2007
Vendbanimi: ......
Mesazhe: 5021

A guy walks in to a restaurant and notice the special on a big bord.

3dollar chesseburgers

4dollar big picher of beer

5dollar hand-job

he then walks up to a sexy looking waitress and asks her:

are you the server that's giving the hand jobs?
yes i'am, she replies!!

he looks down at his wallet and says:
well, go wash your fucking hands cause i want a chesseburger!

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Regjistruar: 17/06/2009
Vendbanimi: anywhere
Mesazhe: 618

Henry was getting along in years and he was slowly becoming unable to perform sexually. Finally he went to his doctor who tried a few things, but nothing seemed to work. The doctor referred him to an American Indian Medicine man.

The medicine man told Henry, "Of course, I can cure this." That said, he threw a white powder in a flame, and there was a flash with billowing blue smoke.

Then he proclaimed, "This is powerful medicine. You can only use it once a year. You have to say '123,' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!"

Henry, unsure of something asked, "What happens when it's over, and I don't want
to continue?"

"You or your partner must say '1234', and it will go down. But be warned it will not work again for another year."

Henry rushed home, eager to try out his new powers and prowess.

That night Henry was ready to surprise his wife, Joyce. He showered, shaved, and puts on his most exotic shaving lotion. He got into bed, and lying next to Joyce says, "123."

He suddenly became more aroused than anytime in his life -just as the medicine man had promised.

Joyce, who had been facing away, turned over and asked, "What did you say 123 for?"

And now you know why you shouldn't end a sentence with a preposition

__________________
always...

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Regjistruar: 11/06/2002
Vendbanimi: Europe
Mesazhe: 10706

Question:
If a person who speaks many languages is called multilingual and a person who speaks two languages is called bilingual, what is a person called who speaks only one language?

Answer:
An American.

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Regjistruar: 11/02/2005
Vendbanimi: Kabul- a great city , in which to live ,play and w
Mesazhe: 2511

Citim:

---

Po citoj ato që tha Fajtori
Question:
If a person who speaks many languages is called multilingual and a person who speaks two languages is called bilingual, what is a person called who speaks only one language?

Answer:
An American.

---

lol , this is f**** true

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Regjistruar: 11/02/2005
Vendbanimi: Kabul- a great city , in which to live ,play and w
Mesazhe: 2511

what time it is!

An inebriated man and his drunken friend were sitting at a bar.
“Do you know what time it is?” Asked the drunk.
“Sure,” said the man
“Thanks,” said the drunk.

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Regjistruar: 29/12/2007
Vendbanimi: ......
Mesazhe: 5021

There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.

One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about.

The letter read:

Dear God,

I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension.

Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment.

Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope... Can you please help me?

Sincerely, Edna

The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars.

By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman.


The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.

Christmas came and went.

A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God.

All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.

It read:

Dear God,

How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me?

Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.

By the way, there was $4 missing.

I think it might have been those bastards at the post office.

Sincerely, Edna

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Regjistruar: 29/12/2007
Vendbanimi: ......
Mesazhe: 5021

A game warden was driving down the road when he came upon a young boy carrying a wild turkey under his arm.

He stopped and asked the boy, 'Where did you get that turkey?'

The boy replied, 'What turkey?'

The game warden said, 'That turkey you're carrying under your arm.'

The boy looks down and said, 'Well, lookee here, a turkey done roosted under my arm!'

The game warden said, 'Now look, you know turkey season is closed, so whatever you do to that turkey, I'm going to do to you.

If you break his leg, I'm gonna break your leg. If you break his wing, I'll break your arm. Whatever you do to him, I'll do to you. So, what are you gonna do with him?'

The little boy said, 'I guess I'll just kiss his ass and let him go!'

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