Regjistruar: 29/12/2007
Vendbanimi: ......
Mesazhe: 5021

kjo me erdhi ne email


a Jewish Mother




Mrs. Fisher comes to visit her son Jacob for


dinner. He lives with a female roommate, Rachel.



During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't


help but notice how pretty Jacob's roommate was.


She had long been suspicious of a relationship


between the two, and this had only made her more curious.



Over the course of the evening, while watching the


two interact, she started to wonder if there was


more between Jacob and his roommate than met the eye.



Reading his mom's thoughts, Jacob volunteered,

'I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you,


Rachel and I are just roommates.'



About a week later, Rachel came to Jacob saying,


'Ever since your mother came to dinner,

I've been unable to find the silver sugar bowl.


You don't suppose she took it, do you?'



Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure.'

So he sat down and wrote an email:



‘Dear Mama,


I'm not saying that you 'did' take the sugar bowl from my house;

I'm not saying that you 'did not' take it.

But the fact remains that it has been missing

ever since you were here for dinner.


Love, Jacob’



Several days later, Jacob received a response email from his Mama which read:



‘Dear Son,


I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Rachel,

and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with her.

But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed,

she would have found the sugar bowl by now.


Love, Mama’

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Regjistruar: 11/04/2003
Vendbanimi: city of the sin
Mesazhe: 7605

Hahahahaha! Sidomos nga 5:15 hahaha.

__________________
I love him in the summer when it sizzles, I love him in the winter when it drizzles...

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Regjistruar: 16/10/2003
Vendbanimi: Toke
Mesazhe: 1679

ahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa megjithmend funny

__________________
E vetmja here qe nuk do ia arrish,do te jete perpjekja e fundit.

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Regjistruar: 11/02/2005
Vendbanimi: Kabul- a great city , in which to live ,play and w
Mesazhe: 2511

Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf.....

Unfortunately, the wife promptly whacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.

The husband cringed, 'I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and

see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us.'

So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, 'Come on in.'

When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique

bottle was lying on its side near the broken window.

A man reclining on the couch asked, 'Are you the people that broke my window?'

'Uh...yeah, sir. We're really sorry about that,' the husband replied.

'Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you... You see, I'm a genie , and I've been trapped

in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three

wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself.'

'Wow, that's great!' the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, 'I'd like a million

dollars a year for the rest of my life.'

'No problem,' said the genie. 'You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you

a long, healthy life!' 'And now you, young lady, what do you want?' the genie asked.

'I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world,' she said.

'Consider it done,' the genie said. 'And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!'

'And now,' the couple asked in unison, what's your wish, genie?'

'Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years,

my wish is to have sex with your wife.'

The husband looked at his wife and said, 'Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses.

What do you think?'

She mulled it over for a few moments and said, 'You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I

wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?'

'You know I love you sweetheart,' said the husband.... I'd do the same for you!'

So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other in every way.

After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, 'How

old are you and your husband?'

'Why, we're both 35,' she responded breathlessly.

' NO SHIT.' He said, 'Thirty-five years old and you both still believe in genies?

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Regjistruar: 11/12/2005
Vendbanimi: orders of magnitude
Mesazhe: 2692

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing public enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f".. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

__________________
Walking the drunkard's walk...

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Regjistruar: 11/02/2005
Vendbanimi: Kabul- a great city , in which to live ,play and w
Mesazhe: 2511

...

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Regjistruar: 11/02/2005
Vendbanimi: Kabul- a great city , in which to live ,play and w
Mesazhe: 2511

Daddy, please tell me why?


A young Arab boy asks his father, "What is that weird hat you are wearing?"

The father said, "Why, it's a 'chechia' because in the desert it protects our heads from the sun."

"And what is this type of clothing that you are wearing?" asked the young man.

"It's a 'djbellah' because in the desert it is very hot and it protects the body." said the father.

The son asked, "And what about those ugly shoes on your feet?

His father replied, "These are 'babouches", which keep us from burning our feet in the desert."

"Tell me," added the boy.

"Yes, my son?"

"Why are you living in Dearborn , Michigan and still wearing all this shit?"

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Regjistruar: 11/02/2005
Vendbanimi: Kabul- a great city , in which to live ,play and w
Mesazhe: 2511

Drinking with a Texas Lady!


A Mexican, an Arab, and a Texan Lady are in the same bar having a few drinks to pass the time.
When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces.
He says, 'In Mexico, our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice.'

The Arab, obviously impressed by this, drinks his non alcoholic beer, (can’t drink the real deal because the Koran tells him not too), throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces.
He says, 'In the Arab World, we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink with the same one twice either.'

The Texan Lady, cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out her 45, and shoots the Mexican and the Arab.

She catching her glass, sets it on the bar, and calls for a refill. She says, 'In Texas Gentleman, we have so many illegal aliens that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice.'

God Bless Texas'

You gotta love those Texas Ladies!!!

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Regjistruar: 07/01/2003
Vendbanimi: Durrës
Mesazhe: 2298

Once upon a time, and far, far away lived a beautiful Queen with voluptuous breasts. Nick the Dragon slayer knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them.

One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, who was the King's chief doctor. Horatio the Physician, exclaimed that he could arrange for Nick the Dragon Slayer to satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1,000 gold coins to arrange it.

Without pause, Nick the Dragon Slayer readily agreed to the scheme. The next day, Horatio the Physician made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's brassiere while she bathed.

Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense. Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio the Physician informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Nick the Dragon Slayer would work as the antidote to cure the itch.

The King quickly summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer. Horatio the Physician then slipped Nick the Dragon Slayer the antidote for the itching powder, which he quickly put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Nick worked passionately on the Queen's voluptuous and magnificent breasts.

The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Nick the Dragon Slayer left satisfied and touted as a hero.

Upon returning to his chamber, Nick the Dragon Slayer found Horatio the Physician demanding his payment of 1,000 gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied, Nick the Dragon Slayer couldn't have cared less and, knowing that Horatio the Physician could never report this matter to the King, with a laugh just told him to get lost.

The next day, Horatio the Physician slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the King's underwear. The King immediately summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer...

__________________
Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

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Regjistruar: 29/12/2007
Vendbanimi: ......
Mesazhe: 5021

One day at kindergarten the teacher said to the class of 5-year-olds, "I'll give $10 to the child who can tell me
who was the most famous man who ever lived."
A little Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Patrick."
The teacher said, "I'm sorry Sean, that's not correct."
Then a little Scottish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Andrew."
The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right either."
Finally a little Jewish boy raised his hand and said, "It was Jesus Christ."
The teacher said, "That's absolutely right, Marvin. Come up here and I'll give you the$10."
As the teacher was giving Marvin his money, she said, "You know, Marvin, since
you're Jewish, I was very surprised you said 'Jesus Christ.'"
Marvin replied, "Yeah. In my heart, I knew it was Moses -- but business is business


lol fuckin jews

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